Strengthening the Sisterhood?
Being a mother is an important part of a woman’s identity, but in her relations with other women is the common bond of motherhood a source of unity or tension?
The success of online mothering forums could indicate that mothers are keen to offer each other support and advice on parenting, reassuring each other that difficulties and feelings of inadequacy are common to all.
Catherine Hanly, editor of raising kids.co.uk, believes that their forum is a positive sphere of mutual support saying:
“Anyone who is judgemental gets short shrift - after all, we’ve all been there.”
She confirmed that the forum element of the website was highly valued by users.
“Our forum is the backbone of our site and the support that our members give each other helps set the tone of raisingkids.co.uk.”
“It’s all about giving power back to the parent, supporting them in the difficult but ultimately rewarding job that they do.”
Laura Morris, founder of meetmums.co.uk, believes that the anonymity offered by the internet benefits mothers seeking help.
“You don’t really know the other person that you are speaking to, and sometimes when you have problems and issues, and the stress and anxiety that motherhood can bring, it’s easier to let your problems out to someone you don’t know. And it’s not face-to-face so the confidence is there for you to ask away, and for some reason you just don’t feel judged.”
But, outside the virtual environment, many women admit that they find other mothers to be one of the most significant sources of pressure when it comes to the decisions they make for their children.
Terri Shackel,who recently gave birth to her first child and has since returned to work as a primary school teacher, observed:
“I wasn’t expecting the pressure of development and your baby's skills, everyone compares in baby groups....it's a mine field!”
Jo Hage of the Bad Mothers Club agrees that sometimes discussions between forum users can be tense.
"I think, just because of the nature of having that many women in one place, it can turn sort of on a knife edge sometimes. But I think that just kind of keeps it fresh; you never quite know how it's going to go."